Ladies, are you really feminists?

I was talking to my friend the other day. It was probably about 2 years back. She is a beautiful girl and has her way with all the gentlemen. A few of us had gone to the cafe in the college and we had to go and place the order at the counter. A guy and I did that. And when we had to go and pick the order, I was just standing up and she said:

Let them get it.

I quickly sat down. I thought she was probably saying that because I already went for placing the order. Though, just as they left, she told me:

Be the girl. It’s the guys’ job.

I didn’t object her back then! I was being a jerk and thought: Yeah, I have always been the one who orders and even picks up the orders. I should let the guys do it now. I listened to her.

I stopped being a feminist for a moment there.

Thankfully, I didn’t do anything like that after that. I admit it was not because I knew it was wrong, it was probably because I forgot the momentary thought and got back to being the way I was.

Today, we ask the gentlemen to be feminists. We call for equal rights. We ask for equal treatment.

Tell me lady, are you sure you are a feminist?

A feminist advocates or supports the rights and equality of women.

That’s what I get when I search for the word online.

More often, people misunderstand this word. Women, mostly. At least that’s what I have witnessed.

Feminism favors the equality of women. So, the privileges that a woman gets, she shouldn’t be asking for them. If a man gives it, it is up to him. It doesn’t harm anyone. But a woman shouldn’t demand it.

There is a reason privileges are privileges, and not rights!

First off, ask yourself. Do you really want to be a feminist? Are you sure you can handle that a man and a woman are equal?

Are you sure, you are okay with being treated equally with your opposite sex?

If you are, then you need to know few things. And this is for the young women especially.

For a woman,

It is okay to hold the door for a man.

It is okay to pull the chair out for a man.

It is okay to ask a man out for a drink.

It is okay to send a man a friend request on Facebook.

It is okay to confess your love.

It is okay to wash your dad’s car or your boyfriend’s bike.

It is okay to fix the broken things without your dad’s or your brother’s help.

It is okay to pay for a dinner he asked you out on.

It is okay to earn more than your partner. Just don’t make a big deal out of it.

It is okay if a guy around you is crying. “Guys don’t cry” is not really the thing to say.

It is okay to just pick up the phone and call him than waiting for him to say he is sorry.

It is okay if he hits you back while playing as you hit him.

It is okay to admit that you wanted the kiss more than he did.

And yes, it is okay to apologize to him .

Most importantly, if you’re better at something the guy is expected to be better at, don’t be such a jerk about it! You need to expect yourself to be equally good at everything.

Be a feminist. Or do not be – but please don’t pretend to be one!

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2 Thoughts to “Ladies, are you really feminists?”

  1. Hey,
    Indian Women have taken the concept of feminism in a very wrong manner. In one of my articles on my blog, I addressed the same issue – Do we want gender equality or women rule in India? On one side we say we want to enjoy an equal status as men do in our country and at the same time, we ask for privileges and fight for it (even when we don’t need to).
    A few hours back, a 20 year old almost fought with a guy because he preferred to keep sitting on the bus seat he acquired first. Just because you’re a girl, you expect every man to be a ‘gentleman’ and get up from his seat and offer it to you!! Such kinds of incidents rather push me to criticize my own gender.
    But the truth is, this is so common. The NGOs and organizations that fight for women rights have taken this thing to a whole new level. No matter if a woman is right or wrong, punishment should be give to men. And I feel such things make us weaker than strong.
    And In such a scenario, I would prefer to be an anti-feminist rather than fight for a concept people don’t even understand.

    1. Shakthi Priya G

      I read your post and found out that you’re right. Most women have no clue about gender equality. They want to be treated like Goddesses, precisely.
      The entire population is divided into 3 sets:
      1. Men who want male domination.
      2. Women who want female domination.
      3. Men and Women who want gender equality.

      It’s the third category that can actually raise a voice and lure the other two categories into the right path. Whatever people want, we need to convert it into a fight for the sole cause of gender equality.

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